Setting Boundaries

As we begin this new year, one of my main focuses is setting boundaries in relationships, whether it be personal or business relationships.

Setting boundaries is definitely part of living a healthy lifestyle.  Boundaries help protect you, and they help others in your relationships know your limits, and how to help to hopefully treat you better.

Having boundaries in place helps grow your self confidence and it helps to define, and increase your feelings of self worth.

Giving up one sided friendships is definitely one of my boundaries that I am putting in place this year, and for the foreseeable future.  I define a one sided friendship as a relationship where you do all of the pouring into the other person.  You may find yourself continuously cheering this person on, constantly listening to their problems, giving advice to them, and yet when you need a shoulder to lean on or a listening ear, this person in the one sided friendship is not there.  Whenever you need something, they are always too busy and are unavailable help you.

The second boundary that I have in place for myself is to keep relationships with the people who celebrate me and cheer me on in my victories however big or small.  And, in turn I will celebrate those who celebrate me and share in their victories and wins as well.

When I share good news with someone and they go spontaneously deaf, and do not reverberate good feelings or positive vibes back to me, I take a quick mental note that this person is not for me.  And, that they are not my friend or being a good friend towards me.  They are just an acquaintance.  To be a friend you have to show yourself friendly.

Thirdly, when I am sick or in need of help I will pay attention to how others respond.  Who is there to lend help? Who actually helps me, and shows acts of kindness towards me?

Fourthly, I am continuing to avoid “energy drainers.”  I have put this practice in place for years, and it has served me very, very well.  I am very careful of who I hang out with on a personal and professional level.  If someone drains my energy every time I come in contact with them, poof! I disappear. Life is too short to deal with anyone or anything that depletes you of your energy whether it be physical or emotional energy.

One of the most important things that I have learned over the years is that not everyone is deserving of hearing your story or should be able to receive updates on your life.  You do not owe everyone an answer or an excuse, or a seat at your table.

This is just a short list of some of the boundaries that I will be putting in place.  Please comment below and let me know what boundaries you are currently or will be using.

Ta ta for now.